Today I find myself in a state of stunned disbelief after hearing this country’s First Lady state that victims who make accusations of sexual misconduct ‘need to have hard evidence’ for their allegations to have validity. I consider this statement to be highly insensitive and extremely offensive.
Melania Trump’s incomprehensible lack of understanding, compassion, or sensitivity towards these victims was amplified by the fact that her message was delivered on the same day that the US was slammed with yet another catastrophic hurricane. The intensity and impact of this storm is the direct result of global warming. Evidently she and her husband still don’t have enough hard evidence to acknowledge the reality of climate change.
The priorities, actions, and outrageous declarations of those presently in the highest positions of power in our country are deeply disturbing. The only good news is that their behavior is activating a call to action for many of us who can no longer tolerate the pervasiveness of systemic denial that has infected our country.
As a survivor of sexual misconduct I am not able to produce ‘proof’ to those who refuse to acknowledge the prevalence of this maligned behavior in our society. Instead the evidence of my abuse has been deeply woven into every expression of my life experience, coloring my perceptions, influencing my choices, and ultimately steering the direction of my life.
Even as an adult, the myriad emotions connected to the acts of sexual violation that occurred in my past are difficult to articulate. They constitute a mixture of confusion, misplaced guilt and shame, anger, frustration, and powerlessness. It is nearly impossible to express the rage associated with the loss of my innocence at the hands of those fueled by self entitlement and uncontrolled impulses. It has taken many years and a lifelong dedication to healing to transmute and channel those negative emotions into positive, life-affirming endeavors.
Like the majority of people who have been victimized by sexual misconduct, I did not confront the perpetrators when these events occurred. At the time I believed that the negative ramifications of speaking up for myself outweighed any possibility of a positive outcome. I risked the genuine threat of familial and social ostracization, and I believed that the stakes were too high.
Many of the reasons for my silence are shared by those who are now courageously stepping forward to give voice to what happened to them. And while there is a window of hope and opportunity opening for victims in the belief that our stories will finally be heard, there are still those who would like to slam that window shut.
Well guess what Melania… the window of truth, hope, and opportunity is opening wider every day. It no longer matters what people like you have to say about our experiences. We know what we have lived through and our truths are finally coming to light. Our collective voice is getting stronger and clearer, and we are gaining traction against those who live in abject denial of sexually abusive behavior that has no place in today’s society.
On a personal level I am using the First Lady’s outrageous statement as ignition to deepen my commitment to my work with clients and to conservation efforts on behalf of the environment. I am publishing more photos and videos to elevate people’s awareness, consciousness and frequency in support of the health, balance, and well-being of our planet. In essence, I’m doubling down on what is important to me, and you can be assured that I’ll be voting for those who represent my values in the upcoming midterm elections.
In the meantime I have these messages to offer:
*To those who have suffered sexual misconduct and have kept silent, I get it. I extend my compassion, respect, and hope that you heal from the experience to achieve inner peace.
*To those who have never had to endure sexual violation, I’m grateful that you were not subjected to it.
*To those who have not experienced abuse of this kind but have the audacity to criticize or invalidate those of us who have, how DARE you?!
*And to those who have perpetrated this behavior, at least have the moral decency to admit what you’ve done, if only to yourself.
Thank you to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford for having the courage to speak up, and to the millions of women and men who live in integrity and light.
My silver lining, as a preteen who’s innocence was stolen, and whos effort to name my rapist were immediately shot down and i was instead shamed and called a slut (id been a virgin til he drugged me), my silver lining, was the avalanche of buried memories and ephiphanies which were set free from the Kavanaugh
My rapist was just like him; wealthy, popular, (way more popular then me), and i was like Dr Ford, at a party i wasn’t supposed to be at. But i was raped. And the next day on the school bus, he had tge audacity to smile at me and offer me a seat next to him. Shortly after that i became known as a slut
Thanks. Victims of any crime do have to have hard evidence to receive justice in a court of law. Only about 5 percent of sexual assault have this. The whole system fails the mass majority of victims. Those of us who have been raped are at great risk of being revictimized which is why your words are so important. The people ive heard complain about the MeToo movement have been women oddly enough.